Betty says to be aware of what we're saying to and around patients and residents, and to never say anything we wouldn't want re-broadcasted over a loudspeaker. Unconscious, partially conscious, "asleep," heavily drugged, whatever, they might, and often do, hear you. Betty's mom underwent highly invasive back surgery years ago, and the last thing she heard as she went under was the surgeon saying to a resident, "the bigger the cut, the more you can charge." Yikes! Betty went on to say it's not just a matter of avoiding saying the wrong things around patients, but that we should also try to talk to them kindly and conversationally, even the unconscious ones. "Hi, Mr. Smith. It's a beautiful day today. It's around 12 o'clock noon, May 21st, the sun is shining. I went on a vacation last week to the ocean. The water was so lovely... You know, talk to them as if they were your signifant other, or your parent, or child."
At this point a student asked, "How do we avoid getting attached to patients?" "You don't," said Betty. "I have held many people as they've passed on. I've had people cry in my arms when their spouse passed on. You're allowed to have emotional connection with your patients, it's how you display it that determines whether it's appropriate. Are you gonna pass by someone in the hallway who's sobbing against a wall without asking them what's wrong?" She said if you present a robot-like mask to the people you're serving, you're doing that to protect yourself, not for them. And our job isn't about our convenience, it's about our patients' and residents' well-being.
This seems like a job where one has the opportunity to do really good work and make a difference for people who are vulnerable. I hope it will help me to cultivate my better angels, kinda the opposite of how, I think, had I become a lawyer, I would've become successful by strengthening my worse qualities.
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> "How do we avoid getting attached
ReplyDelete> to patients?" "You don't," said
> Betty.
I like this woman.
> I think, had I become a lawyer,
ReplyDelete> I would've become successful
> by strengthening my worse
> qualities.
True story--a decade or so ago, I was back in DC (see? doubtlessly Ms. Hazel-Ferris will be pleased to observe that I don't say "Washington, er, the real one..." anymore. Acculturation only took a decade). My buddy Rob was looking through his course offerings for his second year in law school. He was looking at things like immigration law, labor law and the like.
I thought it might be fun to figure out what I would take, if I were in law school. I automatically started singling out all the tax and corporate classes. He said that it was mandatory that I take ethics in second year. I scowled and said, "Fuck ethics..."
My actual personality kicked in at that point, and it repeated in shock, Fuck ethics? Who are you? At that point, I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I'd done the right thing by becoming a teacher.
If I had avoided getting attached to patients, I wouldn't still wake up some mornings dreaming that I was back in women's healthcare. There is always someone, somewhere who remembers that kindness that you show them (I remember the two women who helped with my wisdom teeth, the anesthesiologist for my ankle, the two sweet medical assistants who helped me with completely separate issues at my current medical office, and I remember the woman who sent me flowers after her abortion because coming from a religious background, I understood and listened to her...)
ReplyDeleteSorry, I could go on and on about how the small things in healthcare mean so much. :-) Wait until you do blood draws; you can practice on me to get them perfect.